Love makin’, sexy time … or just “get your freak on time” sometimes requires pre-planning and conversations with your partner(s) about what they like, don’t like, sexually transmitted infection history to allergies (latex can be a common allergy for some people).
So, besides planning the logistics (time, place, condoms, birth control, candles, massage oil…) Get Smart B4U Get Sexy has a list of song recommendations that can help you set the tone so you have one less thing to worry about. Have other songs to add to the list? Leave a comment and we will be sure to update!
J. Cole’s latest album continues to receive deserved attention for his honest and critical analysis of the music industry’s effects on society and his storytelling ability, which asks the questions: what is success really worth and at what expense?
What stands out to Get Smart B4U Get Sexy is how J. Cole uses his music to be a point for health education; promoting condom use in his latest song Wet Dreamz with the lyrics “practice putting condoms on, how it go right?” J. Cole talks about more than condom use and shows how there is still pressure and shame involved in sexual, intimate relationships.
Males still feel shame when admitting that they are virgins/inexperienced. His lyrics show how it is uncool to speak the truth and the pressure that exists for young people to be honest about their sexual experiences. There is an idea that we already need to be pros at sex even when just thinking about it or before we have actually engaged in any sexual acts with another person. Women feel this same pressure as well especially in regards to the need to always please their partner or expressing to their partner that they are in an orgasmic stage when they may not be close to reaching it but don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings. Sex should not be a direct transaction where it needs to be perfect every time; one person reaching orgasm and then the other or both having an orgasm at the same time. In reality, sex is another journey that involves exploration and recognizing what you enjoy and don’t enjoy and speaking out on it to acknowledge needs and to respect consent throughout sex. Only through communication can sex become better and more pleasurable for everyone involved. It is the lack of communication during sex that is affecting our pleasure and increasing our exposure to STDs especially if condom negotiation doesn’t happen. We still have work to do on our communication, honesty and removing the shame and judgment from sex especially when looking to have safe, pleasurable experiences.
In J. Cole’s song Wet Dreamz not only did he take time to explore how to put on a condom properly but he also explored his body and the woman’s body when looking at porn and his other pre-sex practices. Knowledge of your body and your partner’s is important especially when expressing what feels good and expressing what doesn’t. Also practicing talking about condoms and putting them on is helpful to ensure that you will actually pull one out before / during sex.
Thank you J.Cole for adding to the conversation. Listen to his track here: