On April 4th at #sexspeaks, we – female identifying Women of Color – came together in an intimate space for storytelling, reflection, dialogue and healing.
We found time to reflect, share and explore ways we – as Women of Color – practice self love. As Women of Color we often times are expected to be everything and everywhere for others and often times we put other’s needs before ours which can jeopardize not only our sanity but our health and overall well-being. In our #sexspeaks space we thought it would essential to ask and discuss self love practices.
Some of us are still working on it and we know we could def do better at this but lets honor ways that we currently hold space for ourselves to practice self care and self love. This list was created by women from #sexspeaks and our response to the question:
How Do You Practice Self Love?
1. Saying NO
This can be a hard act but it is often times the most radical thing one can do to practice caring and loving for oneself. As women it is important to be aware of our wants, needs, desires and vision of how we walk in this world in order to understand who we are, to act in accordance to ourselves and truly be present in how we want to move, act and support community in this world. Saying No helps us build healthy support and boundaries to maintain moving in the direction of where we want to be. Oftentimes we find ourselves putting other tasks or people before ourselves even when we know that it might not be life giving and in support of who we are.
So lets practice Saying No. Saying no helps us maintain healthy boundaries.
Before saying No, reflect on: will this suck life out or breathe life in?
Reflect on this Mantra – Saying No does not make me selfish. Saying No means I recognize that not all things need my energy. Saying No helps me honor my commitments. It is important to fill myself up first so that I have something to give to others.
2. Being Still, Finding Silence, Me Time, Time for Self Reflection, Meditation.
Meditation can look different for everyone. Sometimes, it is simply just finding space to yourself to find your breath, sit still, stretch, observe the environment you are in …
- Writing: in a journal, writing my morning pages.
- Rub down with coconut oil
- Painting my nails
- It is hard but allowing myself to cry and be emotional; release
- Positive self talk and compassion for my needs
- Brain Games – like Sudoku, crosswords, puzzles, writing poetry, etc.
- Being present and clear so that I am able to know and hear myself
- Reminding myself of my strong characteristics
- Hiking with myself and with my Bé
3. Eating Right!
Eating good food and being aware of what we fuel our bodies with is important for sustaining our energy, strength, and happiness. Also, enjoy foods that fuel you on a spiritual, nutritional, cultural level … enjoy foods that connect you to family, friends, traditions or culture. Food is a building bridge for community – meals bring people together and if you may be far from family or friends eating a meal can connect you to those who you may love and miss.
What recipes bring you joy?
Check out Food Heaven Made Easy for some yummy recipes:
Movement – being active is healing and it is good for the body and can release stress, increase endorphins to elevate mood, energy and happiness levels…how do we move?
- Hiking with myself and with my Bé
- Exercise, traveling, tennis,
- Pleasure Inducing, Hot, Sweaty Sex
- Dancing along to Beyonce and youtube videos
- Masturbation – Self Pleasure – Body Exploration – Pleasure Exploration
- Laughing – a good, hard, bellyful laugh always fills the soul and moves the body in a way to feel refreshed.
5. Being Mindful of the Company We Keep
Surround yourself with positive people who support and acknowledge you! Being mindful of those around you and separating ties from those who may hold you down, don’t think of your needs as important can be a very liberating practice and support in bringing more sanity, safety and happiness for you in the long run.
6. Having great friendships – surrounding myself with those who understand my worth.
7. Find Time to Rest and Sleep!
Sleep is healing and is a time to recharge. Want to try mindful sleeping? Slow yourself down before going to bed by finding your breath, stretch before sleep and ask yourself a question and see how that question may affect your dreams when you awake. Before going to bed spray lavender or chamomile on your pillow and enjoy a sweet sleep.